我的干女儿Betty就要出嫁了。她是台北出生长大的,留学移民到了温哥华。在温哥华,她结识并爱上了韩国小伙子David。
在鞋店开业初期,店里的事情很多,我们大家都忙不过来,差不多所有的管理人员和员工每周都要加班。好几次David过来接Betty下班的时候,帮着我们搬运货物整理储货库。看得出来,这个韩国小伙子真心实意地爱着Betty,我在心底里默默地为她们祝福。
下班的时候,有几次Betty和我一起乘天铁,她便向我谈起韩国的风俗习惯和接人待物的礼节。她对自己的婚恋,既充满了幸福感,也有些担忧。毕竟她们倆来自不同的国度,语言和文化的差异,会造成一些不便和误解。我鼓励Betty说,韩国同胞同样是用筷子吃饭,也是以大米为主食,饮食上没有太大的区别。再说语言嘛,韩国话里,好多词语是从汉语或英语中借过去的,听过说过一两次就会了,也不是什么大问题。我向她推荐了《五种爱的语言》这本书,让她和David有空看一看。
看着Betty无名指上的蓝宝石钻戒,让我联想起 Dr. Gary Chapman在The Five Love Languages第6章中提到的“爱的语言之三--收到礼物”中的段落。我把这几段英文原文录下,与Betty和David共享,也将这几段文字送给我远在多伦多的儿子Henry,期盼听到他给未婚妻送婚戒的好消息,同时祝愿天下所有有情人终成眷属。
A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me,” or, “She remembered me.”You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It does not matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of him. And it is not the thought implanted only in the mind that counts, but the thought expressed in actually securing the gift and giving it as the expression of love.
Gifts are visual symbols of love. Most wedding ceremonies include the giving and receiving of rings. The person performing the ceremony says, “These rings are outward and visiable signs of an inward and spiritual bond that units your two hearts in love that has no end.” That is not meaningless rhetoric. It is verbalizing a significant truth --- symbols have emotional value.
If your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts
you can become a proficient gift giver.
In fact, it is one of the easiest love languages to learn.
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